Jared Broker's Blog

I Guess I am Magically Inoculated - MWG Ch9 (Sci-Fi)

=D =D =D =D

I had forgotten my skin experiment for a couple of weeks on the top shelf above my dishes. I was sober enough to finally cook something and opened the cupboard for a plate. The mason jar catches my eye and I freeze.

Reaching up, I notice significant growth as I bring it down. A cluster of tiny, golden brown mushrooms patiently extend from a chung of white mycelium. I half dropped, half placed it on the counter with a loud thud. A complete dumbfounding washes over me.

The memory of my piss mushrooms explodes and overwhelms my consciousness. My brain freezes up and I fall to my knees. It was the closest I've ever come to fainting. My insanity feels like it's manifesting in the physical, a pure feeling of madness. I take some deep breaths and calm down a bit, reluctant to look up to the jar again.

I peer upward like a frightened toddler, arms extended over my head and fingers pulling me up on the counter. A stout mycelial web extends about 4 centimeters down from my "skin spores" (I guess I can call them now).

After a few moments of recovery, the shock morphs into fascination. It should be horrifying since it confirms a fungal infection, but I really don't care. Maybe some will grow out of my ears.

Maybe I'll be found dead in my apartment with magic mushrooms emerging from every orifice! That would make an incredible headline. They would probably be highly potent, but I wouldn't suggest eating them.

I identified them (for a second time) as psilocybes with examination and comparison to known species. Their spore prints are purple black. No doubt about that. Are they technically my offspring? I am going to declare, "No, no they are not!" I'm not gushy - insane. I'm dark - insane! I will consider my fungus as a fellow traveler in hell. Welcome aboard, little web!

I don't know if this makes me feel more or less out of my mind. A hypothesis I recently formed is that I can no longer tell the difference between my memories from when I'm awake, in a psychedelic trance, or dreaming.

I do, however, have to face the physical proof of this experiment in addition to my "piss shrooms". It seems that clinging to science is my only option right now. I don't need to analyze further than this, but I probably will in about three minutes.

A new and deeper understanding has replaced my astonishment. If I had spores in my urine and now a spore patch on my arm, then my body is fully inoculated. That's pretty cool. I guess I'm a carrier, a transmission vector, a spore person!

Here comes another compulsion... I must go spread the spores around the city. The world could use more magic mushrooms. I'll start today. Time for my first hike/ pub crawl/ innoculation adventure!

Nature is strange beyond our understanding and we are never apart from it. I don't know where I heard the quote, but "God is a weird fucker!" I never dreamed this was the start of a hellish decade. I am about to learn that the endosymbiosis process ain't easy.

=D =D =D =D

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